Making Your Long-Distance D/s Relationship Work

Making Your Long-Distance D/s Relationship Work


Long-distance relationships (LDRs) can be challenging and they require dedication. You may wonder what your partner is up to if they are busy or acting cold towards you and it is certainly harder to keep the spark alive when you can’t see each other regularly. But what about BDSM long-distance relationships?

You may be wondering if this type of relationship can even exist in a long-distance format since it is associated with tactility and real interaction. However, it doesn’t mean you can’t be in a long-distance BDSM relationship. Keeping things spicy when you and your partner are far apart will not only maintain your bond but also help strengthen and brighten it. It is possible to have a successful long-distance BDSM relationship and we will explore how to make this relationship work and what ideas you can use to feel close to your partner even when you’re far apart in this article.

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Making long-distance D/s relationships work

Long-distance D/s relationships open up a space for imagination and allows you to find ways to do things your partner enjoys even from a distance. For example, you can set long-distance tasks for your sub the same way you set tasks for your sub when they are near you. If they are far away, you can be sure they completed the task by requesting to see photo or video proof of it. This will help maintain your relationship and also makes both of you feel connected. 

If you and your partner are far away from each other, try to agree to certain LDR BDSM relationship routines that will be enjoyable for both of you. Consider what the most important things you want to maintain are. Does your sub partner want to feel attention or long-distance domination from your side? Do they prefer sexual interaction or want to be prohibited from masturbating? Communicating effectively before and during a long-distance D/s relationship is essential, so you should discuss everything just like you would do in a regular BDSM relationship. 

Now let’s look at some ideas that may help keep your relationship spicy:

Long-distance BDSM ideas 

You can feel physically and emotionally connected to your sub even when they are far away. Technology is evolving and many new devices and inventions can be used to maintain LDR BDSM relationships. 

Sexting, exchanging photos and videos

This is a common way for people to keep connected in any long-distance relationship. You can pair sexy photos with intriguing messages telling your partner something that gets them in the mood. If you are a sub, you can also share your photos wearing bondage accessories from Anoeses and in return, your master may give you instructions on what you should do with yourself or tell you what they want to do with you. You can also make full use of video calls and masturbate together. 

Using remote-controlled vibrators 

Remote-controlled vibrators are great sex toys created specifically for people in long-distance relationships. If you’re a sub, imagine that you’re wearing a remote-controlled vibrator all day long and then you suddenly receive unexpected vibrations that tease you or even lead to orgasms when your dom presses the button in the app on their phone. This will help you feel like you’re being controlled by your master more than anything else. 

Playing BDSM card games 

This is something you can try to do during a video call. There are plenty of BDSM card games you can try depending on your preferences and experience in BDSM. 

Give your sub long-distance tasks

As a submissive, you may enjoy the idea of having your dom give you tasks you need to complete. This may include being told not to wear underwear when going out and sending proof of it or not being allowed to have an orgasm for a certain period of time. Breaking these rules can result in long-distance punishments. For example, you may be required to shoot a video of self-spanking to prove that you were properly punished.


Self-bondage can diversify the sexy photos or videos you share with the dominant. You can also take it to the next level and let your dom guide you when you tie yourself up. 

Role Playing

It is a mistake to think that role-playing is something that can only be done in person. Role-playing during video calls while wearing costumes can also be incredibly exciting when you know how to fulfill your partner’s expectations. 

Non-sexual ideas for long-distance dom sub relationship

Long-distance BDSM relationships are not only about erotic activities, you should also take steps to care for your partner and build a close bond with them through other means. 

Set up a routine 

You can establish a daily communication routine with your partner that can be as simple as sending good morning or good night messages to let them know you are thinking about them. If you’re a Dom, you can also add some tasks your sub has to do every day. 

Let the Dom decide for you

As a sub, you may like the idea of the Dom making decisions for you and this fits into a long-distance BDSM relationship perfectly. For instance, you can let your master decide what you should wear or even have them send you the underwear you have to wear on a certain day. Your Dom can also decide your daily schedule and activities. For example, they may ask you to go to the gym or prohibit you from doing something. Let the imagination be your guide here. 

Read a bedtime story

Asking your master to read a bedtime story for you over a call may be a new experience for you that will bring you even closer together. 

Planning the next date

All of the ideas mentioned above will surely build anticipation for your next meeting but setting up a certain date, time, and conditions for it in advance will only heat up your and your partner’s feelings until you see each other in person again. 

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