Top kinky accessories for BDSM play

Power games to increase pleasure - that's what BDSM is. But what's the best way to start? Below, we will tell you about popular gears you can try with your partner.

Engaging in new sex adventures isn't for everyone. But if you dare, you might discover a whole new side to yourself - and to your partner. This can bring new emotions to long-standing relationships and promote a sense of one's own sexuality. In the spirit of "nothing ventured, nothing gained", we, therefore, dedicate ourselves here to the topic of BDSM and show you what basic rules and accessories for BDSM play. Read this article before you start shopping.

What is BDSM?

BDSM comes from the English Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism and describes practices around power games, dominance and submission, pleasure-pain, and bondage games. Handcuffs, ropes, and other equipment can be used to torture your partner with pleasure. All this happens only by mutual consent and can be interrupted or ended at any time. Only those who feel comfortable can let themselves go and experience the role play and other BDSM games.

Basic rules of BDSM play

Do you want to know what BDSM feels like? You should know these basic rules beforehand.

When exploring info about BDSM, you will often come across important terms like sub, top, bottom, or Dom. Sub or bottom describe the person being subjected to play. Top or Dom describe the person who is in control and acts as the dominant partner in kinky play.

The "safe word" is an important part of power play. Both partners must know at all times that they can stop the other's action by saying the agreed upon "safe word." Mutual trust  and respect is the be-all and end-all rule for all participants to be able to engage in the adventure without any worries.

Anything that pleases both partners is permitted in BDSM as long as partners have a mutual agreement regarding each activity they try. However, some things may be quite dangerous and should be avoided even if both people enjoy them. For instance, bondage games involving the neck are not advisable. The risk of strangulation and cardiac arrest is too high, even for healthy adult couples.

It is advisable to always have scissors or a cutter nearby for safety. In the event of an emergency, quick action can be taken by the other partner.

If you are just starting to think about BDSM, talk to your partner beforehand about their no-go's and desires. This way, you can move from vanilla sex to kinky games together. For example, start by using a tie for bondage and choose simple bondage techniques until you get more experience with restraints.

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Types of BDSM accessories

1. Hand and foot cuffs

BDSM is all about controlling the other person, for example, by tying them up and dominating them this way. The tied-up person is inferior to the Dom because their movements are restricted and they have to surrender to the other person. Hand and foot cuffs are therefore popular accessories that can be used to control your partner and are ideal for getting started. They are often on sale and can be bought for cheap.

2. Harness

Another popular bondage gadget is a harness that is worn around the chest. It is designed to make the partner look incredibly sexy. Plus, there are usually various straps and eyelets on harnesses, so they can also be used to restrain your partner.

3. Bondage tape

One key feature of BDSM is loss of control. The bottom wants to submit and the top wants to enjoy the control he has over his counterpart. The powerlessness of the sub becomes even more obvious when there is no possibility of verbal communication. Thus, bondage tape is incredibly popular with people who want to prevent their partnes from speaking. Of course, you can also use the tape for tying up your sub.

4. Ropes

Ropes made of cotton are one of the classic bondage toys. You can use them in many different ways, for instance, to restrain your partner or to tie them to a bed. The rope you use should be flexible and elastic. And how you tie up your partner is completely up to you - the possibilities are endless.

5. SM candle

Even Leonardo DiCaprio's character in "Wolf of Wall Street" appreciates a hot SM candle. Jordan Belfort, his character who works as a stock broker enjoys letting hot wax drip onto his bare skin. That's exactly the appeal of the candle. You can use it to stimulate and inflict mild pain on your partner. How much wax drips down determines the level of pain. Ultimately, it’s up to the Dom. It gets even more interesting when your partner wears a blindfold. Remember, you should use only special low-temperature candles for this game because they are made of pure kerosene and are less hot than conventional candles.

6. Stroking feather

BDSM is all about pleasurably torturing the other person. Punishment and reward can alternate so that the game has exciting ups and downs. A stroking feather is the perfect accessory to let your partner cool down after a painful spanking or flogging. Plus, it allows you to tickle and tease your lover ever so slightly.

7. Flogger and whip

Speaking of reward and punishment. Floggers and whips are perfect accessories for this type of play. They can easily serve as punishment and help the top assert their dominance  in the bedroom. Floggers and whips can come in various shapes, sizes, and materials and they can cause different amounts of pain depending on how hard the Dom strikes.

BDSM, is it for me?

Only you can answer whether you want to buy toys and try BDSM. People who are open-minded and curious can bring a new twist to their love life with exciting bondage games. Controlled power play is for those who are not afraid of new experiences. Dominance and submission are the core of sexual role play, so one of the two roles should suit you. It is important that you trust your counterpart and feel confident that you can end the game at any time. But even if you’re really eager to try kinky play, you should approach BDSM slowly, look at different accessories, and find out what you and your partner like. If both of you enjoy this lifestyle, it can be an exciting enrichment for your sex life and a change from everyday life.

If you have found pleasure and want to go deeper into BDSM, we recommend talking about your experiences with others online, or even at special parties. Going to a BDSM get-together also known as a munch, by the way, does not commit you to anything. You can just look around and talk to people. 

To discover more about Anoeses, sexualities, BDSM and connect with our community, follow @anoeses.education.