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In a BDSM relationship, there are always two roles - the dominant and the submissive. The dominating partner is referred to as the Dominant/Master (often capitalized) or Dom. Itโs worth mentioning that both males and females can be dominant in bed. However, statistically, males are more likely to assume the dominating role. Therefore, in this article, we will explore who male Doms are and what types of Doms exist. But if youโre interested in female domination practices, you can read our article about femdom.
What is a Dom Top?
Dom (Top) is a male or male-identifying person who chooses to exert power and control over the submissive partner. He dominates the sub in non-sexual and sexual ways, imposes rules and punishments, uses tools for spanking and whipping, controls discipline, ties up the submissive, and much more. In TPE (total power exchange) and domestic discipline relationships the Dom also has control over many aspects of the subโs life and makes decisions for them.ย
It may seem like BDSM domination is a lot about orders, power exchange, and control over the sub, but it also involves taking care of the submissive and making sure their needs are fulfilled. It means that the Dom constructs a relationship with the submissives where the two parties agree whether the D/s (Dominant/submissive) interaction happens only during BDSM scenes for a short time or it is implemented constantly in everyday life.ย
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While there are many different types of Doms in BDSM, there are some general characteristics that all BDSM Dom types possess:ย
- They have total control of themselves. This is essential to do before a Dom can start controlling a sub.ย
- They know their craft well.
- They communicate with the sub to discuss all the terms and get their consent.
- They are predictable - their behavior should be predictable enough for submissives to feel safe within the scene.
- They show respect and compassion in what they do.
Now letโs discuss different types of Doms.
Types of Doms in BDSM
Kinkyย
This is not a BDSM Dom, itโs just a person who enjoys taking dominating roles in kinky sex. This type of Dom lacks the knowledge to bring a sub into subspace. In interactions with this Dom the submissive can choose the scene and decide how it will be performed.ย
Topย
The Top Dom enjoys playing the Master. He knows everything necessary for a scene but doesnโt extend things outside the bedroom. A Top doesnโt want to get involved in a BDSM relationship and doesnโt put effort in his subโs growth.ย
Role-playing Domย
This type of Dom is eager to give tasks and expects his sub to serve him, but in reality, doesnโt know much about the real D/s dynamics. You can often encounter this type of Dom online.ย
Scene Domย
The Scene Dom likes the control he has inside the scene but at some point realizes he also needs a submissive in his life. He enjoys being served and sexually gratified. At the same time, he doesnโt test the subโs limits.ย
Playing Masterย
This is an experienced Dom who thrives on being served and serviced by the submissive. He likes to engage in bondage and cause pain during scenes but doesnโt experiment with changing the intensity of play. He controls the sub in the scene but the scene starts and ends with the same intensity. It makes it impossible for the Playing Master to take his D/s interactions to a new level.ย
Part-Time Masterย
A Part-Time Master is involved in a Master/slave relationship with his slave. He considers the slave to be his property. A Part-Time Master also knows how to distinguish between a slave's needs and wants and expects the slave to grow. He will dominate the sub by telling them what to wear and how to behave. A Part-Time Master chooses scenes that help the slave to grow and provide them with plenty of aftercare. However, this Master dedicates only his free time to domination.ย
True Domย
A True Dom likes to be served by the submissive, both in erotic and non-erotic ways. His sub has to take care of his wants and needs. This type of Dom only takes on the role when he is in the right mood. It can last for days in a row and then just happen for a couple of hours every now and then. Thatโs why a True Dom chooses to enter either a short-term or long-term relationship with his submissive. The amount of time dedicated to the relationship is often agreed on in advance. In addition, a True Dom gives the sub assignments but doesnโt question them when they arenโt completed.
The TPE Domย
This is a type of Dom that chooses to dominate 24/7. He often signs a detailed agreement with his slave where both parties agree to TPE. In this kind of relationship, many items including collars have significant meaning. The submissive gives up control for the duration of the relationship and agrees to follow certain rules and be punished in case they are broken.ย
What type of Dom are you?ย
If you love to dominate your partner in the bedroom and want to be more knowledgeable about the world of BDSM, you may also be curious about what type of Dom you are. Keeping the descriptions above in mind, try to answer these questions:
- Do I want to dominate the sub in a scene or bring the power exchange into everyday life?ย
- How much time am I ready to dedicate to domination?ย
- Do I know the craft of domination well enough?ย
- Do I prefer total power exchange or do I want to go without power exchange at all?ย
- Am I providing my slave space for growth?ย
Answering these questions will help you to find out what type of Dom you are. Alternatively, you can take a BDSM archetype quiz to learn what type of Dom you resemble the most.
To discover more about Anoeses, sexualities, BDSM and connect with our community, followย @anoeses.education.
3 comments
Yes, I also would like to hear about the other Doms mentioned above. Not sure if I found my DOMination yet.
I agree with Kaitlyn; every type of Dom she lists is what I am. Essentially โProf. Henry Higginsโ!
Why are there so many missing? Soft dom, pleasure dom, daddy domโฆ