Everything you wanted to know about ruined orgasms but were afraid to ask

Everything you wanted to know about ruined orgasms but were afraid to ask


While reaching an orgasm may be an essential part of sex for many people, some can also find pleasure in ruining an orgasm or having their orgasms ruined by another individual. Ruining an orgasm implies performing some action that prevents a person from achieving a full or satisfactory orgasm. This can be done by stopping or reducing stimulation, inflicting pain, or switching to another activity. Ruined orgasms can be a part of many sexual activities including BDSM punishments, role-playing, and impact play.

There are two types of ruined orgasms: full and partial. Fully ruining an orgasm means preventing your partner from finishing at all, while partially ruined orgasms are the ones that have a lower intensity than what your partner expects, so less powerful ejaculation for males and fewer contractions for females.

Who are ruined orgasms for?

Ruined orgasms can work for you if you want to try something new and enjoy giving power in the hands of your partner. Your partner (or you) will be the one who decides if you are going to reach an orgasm or not and if the thought of it excites you - ruined orgasm is something you should try. 

If you are not sure yet about it, you may also try to ruin your orgasm without a partner. There are many ruined orgasm techniques you can read about that involve using sex toys or hands. 

Ruining orgasms can work well both for males and females if they are already satisfied with their orgasms. However, many women may already experience unintentional failed orgasms in their regular sex life or have trouble coming to a climax altogether. If that’s the case with you or your partner a ruined orgasm will likely not be enjoyable. Ruined male orgasms are more common, so we will focus on them in this article. 

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Why are ruined orgasms enjoyable?

There are different reasons why your partner may enjoy experiencing a ruined cumshot. Let’s have a look at some reasons why it can become a new kink you practice in your sex life. 

Losing control 

Partners who are into submission may find ruined orgasms attractive since they feel that they are taken control of. The idea of the dominant having control over their pleasure sounds appealing to them. 

Feeling pain 

Ruining an orgasm sometimes involves pain and some partners may enjoy the pain that prevents them from ejaculating.

Feeling humiliated 

Ruined orgasms can be a part of humiliation play when you make your partner feel that he doesn’t deserve an orgasm, should do something to earn it, or else you will suddenly ruin his orgasm. 

What makes a perfect ruined orgasm?

Now that we have discussed what makes ruined orgasms appealing, let’s talk about how you can give a ruined orgasm to your partner and what actions make for best ruined orgasms. 

Knowing when your partner is about to come

Knowing your partner and recognizing the signs that he is going to ejaculate soon is essential for mastering a ruined orgasm. If you try to give a ruined orgasm when it is too early, it won’t have the desired effect. At the same time, you won’t ruin orgasm if you decide to do it a few seconds before the ejaculation, at which point it will be too late.

If you are not sure about the timing, start paying attention to some signs like sounds, breathing, movements, facial expression, and muscle tenseness. After some practice, it will be easier for you to choose the right timing for a ruined orgasm.

Using the right technique 

Ruining orgasm can be done in a variety of ways. The most common of them are reducing stimulation, withdrawing, and bringing to the edge. 

Lowering stimulation is quite self-explanatory, as it means that once your partner is about to climax, you reduce the stimulation, making it less intense or different from what your partner needs to reach an orgasm. For example, this may involve loosening your grip when giving a hand job. 

Withdrawal is a technique used during penetrative sex. Essentially, you will pull your partner out of you when he is about to reach an orgasm. While he will still ejaculate, sudden withdrawal won’t make it as satisfying as coming inside you. 

Bringing to the edge means stimulating and teasing a partner to the point where he almost reaches an orgasm and then suddenly stopping the interaction. 

Incorporating bondage 

Bondage play fits into the practice of ruining orgasms perfectly because it ensures that your partner won’t be able to move and can feel even less control. There are many different forms of bondage you can try. For example, some people like binding their partner’s hands or legs with rope or leather restraints and tying them to the bed frame, using bondage devices like chastity belts, etc. The latter are sex toys that prevent men from getting hard or lead to ruined cum. This includes chastity cages. At the same time, women can experiment with chastity belts. 

Dirty talking

Talking dirty while ruining orgasm can be another stimulant. Some examples include telling your partner he doesn’t deserve an orgasm or he needs to do something to deserve it. 

Adding pain 

If your partner is into pain practices, you can diversify ruined ejaculation by using various items like paddles, floggers, and crops. Blindfold your partner at the same time to make this experience more intense. Make sure your partner is comfortable with this type of ruined orgasm. 

Ruined orgasms and safety

If you are interested in the ruined orgasm fetish, you may also wonder if it is safe. Ruined orgasms can lead to some sexual dissatisfaction but they are physiologically safe. When semen moves backward, men can experience retrograde ejaculation. It is not dangerous but may be uncomfortable. When you decide to experiment with devices that block the urethra, be sure to learn how to use them properly. 

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