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A Guide To BDSM Munch Manners

 

Are you new to BDSM and just starting to learn all the nuances? Then you should know that there are safe spaces where you can ask all of the questions that are racing through your mind, meet like-minded people, and simply feel free to explore your sexuality. We are talking about munches which are often held by BDSM groups and communities in large cities.

Before going to your first munch, you may be tormented by doubts and fear of the unknown. You probably won’t know what to expect, how to act in this new social circle, or even how to dress. Of course, there is no reason to worry, because you will be surrounded by people who share the same interests and understand you. All of them are engaged in the same lifestyle as you, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. However, we have some additional tips, which may help you to blend in and feel more confident at your first few munches.

What Is A Munch?

A munch is a social gathering for people who practice BDSM or those interested in trying out this lifestyle. Munch groups are all about gathering in a cafe, eating tasty food, and communicating, so don't expect to see a bunch of people partying or playing together. So a munch is not that different from a friendly party or business meeting. 

Munches are the cornerstone of any BDSM community. A munch is a place where old friends can reconnect, talk about floggers, everyday topics, or even problems with family and children, and get acquainted with new people. Munches are like a free trial for new members, as they give party hosts the opportunity to assess your behavior and decide whether you can be invited to dungeon events or private parties. 

You should be aware that munches are not about speed dating. It is pointless to attend such gatherings in the hopes of finding a partner because you will almost certainly fail. The major point of participating is to share knowledge and interests, gain new experiences, and simply communicate with people.

General Rules For Visiting Munch Meetings

If you’re going to a munch for the first time, there are a few things you should do:

  • Notify hosts of your presence in advance. Munches are usually held in public places such as restaurants or cafes, so it is essential to know the number of people who will participate. This way, party hosts can plan the meeting better and choose a suitable location for the gathering. Plus, if you are new to munches, hosts can provide you with additional information you may not know. 
  • Dress appropriately. Dress as if you're going out on Sunday or attending a family dinner. Most attendees prefer to leave fetish clothing at home when going to these events because many people do not want to expose thekinky side of their personality to the world, and they want to respect their decision. You are free to dress however you want, but obvious kink clothes are discouraged.
  • Make new friends. Going to a munch is an excellent way to meet new people in the BDSM community. Many munches have representatives who welcome newcomers and show them around. When you’re at these events, you should remember to talk to others and pay attention to what they say. You'll make at least a few new acquaintances if you approach each munch in an open and friendly manner.
  • Respect the boundaries. Since everyone has their own set of limits, don’t hug, touch or kiss someone without their consent. Respect other people’s wishes.

Things To Remember At A Munch

  • Kinks come in many shapes and sizes. Some people prefer to keep their playtime traditional, while others are obsessed with particular areas of BDSM. Keep in mind that munches are not the place to criticize and discriminate against people based on their fetishes. So, if you have a strong point of view on some topic, you should leave it at home and try to be open to new experiences. Remember, if you don’t enjoy something, you can simply not talk about the activity and avoid participating in it.
  • Do not overplay. Instead of being overly enthusiastic about your kink conversations, consider alternative topics to discuss. Do not examine or look at others, as everyone has the right to feel at ease. 
  • Be careful with alcohol. There are plenty of other places where you can have fun, while consuming a lot of alcohol but a munch isn't one of them. To feel more relaxed, you can enjoy a couple of shots or a glass of wine, but keep it under control. In the worst-case scenario, you can end up spoiling the meeting not only for yourself but for everyone else in the room.
  • Don’t expect to take pictures. Filming is nearly always prohibited at such meetings, for obvious reasons. If you really must capture a photo, check with the host and ensure that everyone in the frame is alright with it.
  • Use name tags. For privacy concerns, many BDSM members prefer to use their online identities rather than their legal names at munches and other events. Even if you know someone in real life, use the name stated on their tag since that is how they like to be addressed.

Munches are all different, and you don’t need to judge all of them after going to just one event. Some groups are smaller, while others are larger; some include non-binary and trans people, and others have their own set of regulations for visitors. You'll need to go to a few munches to figure out which group of people you like best and try to join their community. We wish you a nice time and hope that your first munch experience will be unforgettable!

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