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Best punishments in BDSM

What is BDSM discipline? It is a set of rules for the submissive partner and a list of ways the dominant partner can respond to the submissive behaving badly or making a mistake. For this article, let’s assume you are the Dominant and your partner is the submissive in your relationship. So as the dominant, you can discipline your partner by punishing them for doing something wrong. 


You may negotiate rules and punishments with your partner or even sign a BDSM contract that lists everything on paper. It’s best to decide on concrete actions, so your punishment doesn’t take the submissive by surprise.


Keep in mind that not every BDSM practice involves discipline and punishment. You may get excited by simple role-playing or engage in sensation play, bondage, or sadomasochism without involving discipline. Plus, you can use positive reinforcement which is the opposite of BDSM punishment. This way, you will be pleasing your submissive for making an effort or doing something good. 

BDSM punishment should fit the crime


If you want to practice punishment in BDSM, you need to keep in mind that ideally, the intensity of the punishment should correspond to the severity of the mistake the submissive made. You can also save more painful punishment for repeated misdoings. In any case, the punishment should not violate the submissive’s boundaries in BDSM play.

Punishing for concrete misdoings 


Make sure that the submissive knows what they are being punished for. You can repeat the reason for punishment while disciplining your slave or let them know the reason in advance so they can anticipate getting punished. 


However, no matter what happens, you should not administer BDSM punishment for things your submissive did a long time ago. You don’t want to take too much power over them or shock the sub with unexpected punishment. 

Aftercare after BDSM punishment 

Don’t forget about aftercare, especially if your type of punishment brings physical and emotional pain to the sub. Ensuring that your partner feels cared for after the scene is an important component in BDSM. Take time to care for the sub’s skin if your discipline methods include spanking or make the sub feel comfortable and loved if you humiliate them in some way. 

BDSM punishment list

When practicing BDSM discipline, it may not always be easy to come up with the best ways to punish your sex slave. Let’s look at some BDSM punishment ideas you can try: 

Physical punishment 

It includes spanking, caning, paddling. You can also use your hand to slap or spank the submissive.

Bondage 

Bondage can also work as a form of discipline. For example, you can tie up your partner and keep them kneeled, make them hold a ball between the wall and their nose, or restrict their movement in another way. 

Mental bondage 

This means your submissive needs to stay in one place for a specific period. Kinky punishment can include kneeling on an uncomfortable surface or just not being allowed to move. Breaking these instructions may result in additional punishment for the submissive.

Orgasm control 

One popular option among sex punishments is orgasm control. This can include restricting your slave from touching themselves or orgasming without your permission. An alternative can be forcing the sub to orgasm when they pass the point of comfort. You can also use ruined orgasms to teach your sub a lesson.

Restrictive punishment 

Restrictive discipline means taking away something that your slave enjoys. It can be taking away an object, restricting the sub from doing something or also ignoring them, not giving enough attention, or spending time in different spaces. 

Doing chores

You can also punish the submissive by forcing them to do the chores they hate the most. It can include washing the floor while wearing restraints that make it difficult to move. 

Speech rules 

Setting up a speech rule can also be a way of discipline. You may agree that the slave can talk to you only by addressing you a certain way, or the slave may not be allowed to speak unless they are spoken to.

Public humiliation 

Humiliating your slave in public can mean that the submissive has to publicly apologize for their mistake, wear some sign, or say certain things in front of other people.

Is spanking a good punishment in BDSM?

There is a distinction between impact play as an erotic activity and a type of punishment. If your submissive associates spanking with the usual BDSM practice that brings pleasure, it is better not to use it as punishment. In the end, who will be disciplined by something they enjoy a lot? It will only serve as a reward. 

Ignoring as a BDSM punishment 

Ignoring is another punishment method you can use in BDSM play. However, it should be used with caution. Silent treatment as punishment should have a specific time limit and be clearly connected to the mistake the sub made to avoid being confused with toxicity in communication with the partner. 

Knowing the limits in BDSM discipline 

As any BDSM practice, discipline BDSM should have limits and your submissive should feel safe. The best way to do this is to agree on what forms of punishment don’t violate your sub’s boundaries. The dominant partner should also control themselves as involving aggression in the punishment process may end up pushing some of these limits. Even though punishment doesn’t look like an activity you and your sub should agree on at the first glance, prior consent is vital to make a BDSM relationship work.

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1 comment

  • Over the past few months my wife and I have agreed to train me to be more submissive.
    We are expeimenting with various collars gags and restraints for me to wear during sleep. The goal is to keep me as motionless as possible so as not to disturb her sleep
    Do you have suggestions for good ways to keep restricted and restrained while also getting a reasonably good sleep?

    T

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