Most relationships between dominant and submissive people involve penalties. The "D" in BDSM stands for discipline, and occasionally subs need to be corrected when they disobey the rules. Many Doms, however, lack ideas of how to punish. And sometimes, a sub may also feel ignored if the discipline lesson isn't done properly.
If you want your punishment to be effective, think about the following.
Explain the reason
Any punishment's primary purpose is to teach the sub a lesson in order to deter inappropriate behavior and make sure that the partner understands their duty completely. And it's very important that a sub is always aware of the context of their punishment. So before the discipline lesson try to say:
- You are being punished because…
- Why are you being punished?
By emphasizing the behavior that requires modification, the attention remains on that particular conduct. This approach ensures that the submissive does not develop the impression that the Dominant disapproves of them personally.
Dear Doms, don't improvise or make up reasons for punishment on the go.
The punishment must correspond to the 'crime'
The degree of severity of the wrongdoing should dictate the level of harshness. Here're some examples:
- If your sub doesn't respond to you for over 15 minutes, intense spanking will be too much. Instead, say your sub to remove panties for the entire day;
- If your Little didn't clean their room or have been spending too much time on the phone, you can ask them to finish the cleaning and give an extra chore or forbid them to use social media for the rest of the week. Like the parents would do;
- Major offense requires a major punishment. For instance, 10 minutes of caning.
Don't be too soft
Novice BDSM Dominants may hold themselves back, concerned that they might be crossing boundaries, particularly when a submissive begins to cry. However, this is where reliance on safewords becomes crucial. If the sub experiences excessive physical, emotional, or mental distress, they reserve the right to utilize their safeword.
As an idea, ask your sub to count every spank. This way, by the sound of their voice, you will know whether you're going too hard or too soft. Also, you can ask them to tell: 'I'm yours little (the title you use)'.
Timing is crucial
In general, a submissive is aware of their mistakes and apprehensive about the consequences of displeasing their Dominant. If the Dominant forgets to punish or delays it, the effectiveness of the discipline may be diminished. As a general rule, disciplinary actions should be carried out by the end of the day. If disciplinary measures are postponed beyond a day, they may fail to serve their intended purpose of educating the submissive and preventing them from repeating the mistake. Additionally, submissives require evidence that their Dominants value the relationship enough to devote time to discipline them. Spanking, orgasm denial, or even a stern text message lecture can have a significant impact.
In the end, we would like to give you a list of ideas for punishments:
- Orgasm denial or edging;
- Forced silence;
- Walk your sub like a puppy;
- Chain the naughty sub up;
- Forced orgasm;
- Make them eat on the floor;
- Dictate their ability to masturbate;
- Take away something they like;
- Collar them.