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Dominant/submissive relationships in BDSM have many patterns and variations. But what if you feel like you want to go even further than your regular D/s scenes, be even more in power, or crave a more advanced feeling of being under control? Then you can consider entering a total power exchange relationship. 

What is total power exchange?

BDSM total power exchange or TPE is a type of power exchange and D/s relationship. Compared to power exchange that happens within a scene, total power exchange takes place 24/7 in everyday life. Couples who chose a TPE relationship dedicate all their time to sustaining it.  

Also, 24/7 power exchange relationships have more specific terminology associated with them. The dominant partner is often referred to as a Master or Mistress, while the submissive is called a slave, which highlights the permanent state of their D/s relationship. Partners can also create their own nicknames that mirror their roles. In BDSM total power exchange these names have to be used in everyday interactions, not only during scenes. 

What does a total power exchange relationship look like?  

Total power exchange is similar to power exchange in scenes. However, total power exchange rules also cover routine situations for Master/slave couples. The Master takes control of the slave in everyday situations that can include almost all areas of life. Let’s explore some ideas for TPE BDSM. 

Wearing a collar 

A slave can wear a collar to express their submissive status. They can receive it during a collaring ceremony or as a gift from the Master/Mistress. The accessory can be customized or a slave can have several collars for different occasions. For instance, the partners may choose a piece of jewelry that will serve as an everyday symbol of submission and save a custom-made collar for special situations. 

Position and posture

The Master or Mistress can require the slave should kneel when they enter the room or take another specific position. They can also make the slave walk behind them at all times or prohibit the slave from turning their back on the dominant.

Decisions on appearance 

A slave may be made to ask the Master/Mistress what to wear, have their dominant partner choose clothes. Shoes and haircuts for them and decide whether they can wear makeup, jewelry.

Serving the Master/Mistress 

The Master/Mistress can ask the slave to perform specific services for them, such as preparing and serving meals and drinks, bringing books, giving massages, or offering power exchange sex. They can also decide on the positions or rituals that will accompany these acts of service. 

Orgasm or masturbation control 

Slaves can relinquish the right to decide when they can orgasm or masturbate to their Masters/Mistresses. Couples that engage in total power exchange sometimes practice forced or ruined orgasms.  

Financial control 

The Master/Mistress can also be in control of the slave's finances and decide what items they can spend money on. Plus, the dominant partner can restrict the sub from working and making money. In this case, the Master/Mistress has to take on the responsibility of providing for all the slave’s needs.

Bathroom control

The slave may be required to ask permission to use the bathroom. This should be practiced carefully because it can lead to health issues. 

Breakup control 

The couple may agree that only the Master/Mistress can decide to end the relationship for any reason. Total power exchange contracts can include some specific cases when a slave can leave the relationship. 

Sleep control 

The Master/Mistress can take control of the slave's sleep. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the sub won’t be allowed to sleep. Sometimes, it can mean telling them to go to bed earlier than usual for their good. Some slaves may need to ask permission to join their Master/Mistress in bed. 

Safeword removal 

Some couples that practice total power exchange believe that total control entails getting rid of a safeword. This requires a lot of trust between partners and the willingness of the slave to surrender all control. 

Total power exchange contract 

Partners in a TPE relationship can create a contract where the total power exchange rules will be stated. It can be less detailed than a usual BDSM contact, as it’s assumed that the dominant has more power over the sub. A total power exchange contract may cover the following: 

• Conditions under which the slave can disagree with the Master/Mistress
• Specific cases in which the slave is allowed to leave the relationship
• Discipline and punishment for breaking the rules 

A contract sets a framework for a BDSM total power exchange relationship and ensures that everything that happens in it is consensual. 

Misunderstanding of TPE relationships 

The TPE kink is quite unique and may not work for all couples who enjoy BDSM. Not every submissive will agree to give permanent control over many aspects of their lives to the Master/Mistress. At the same time, it may feel uncomfortable for the dominant to have so much control. For some people, the TPE fetish can appear abusive, but it’s worth noting that the Master/Mistress has a lot of responsibility for taking care of their slave, and the slave may find freedom and pleasure in losing control. Ultimately, it’s up to each person to decide if a 24/7 total power exchange suits them.

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