Disclaimer: This article is about male-identifying Doms 

There are many myths surrounding the concept of a perfect Dom. However, there is nothing mythical about being dominant. A true Dom simply has to meet a set list of criteria. If you don't want to end up with someone who only wants to compensate for his lack of strengths by exercising power, be sure to check out the following before starting a relationship with a new dom:

• The Dom is not violent. He doesn't need to be. He knows your personal triggers and the anatomy well enough to avoid violence. Often, his charisma is already enough for you to submit to him and want to belong to him. Violence is neither helpful nor necessary in a healthy dom-sub relationship.
• The Dom sees your needs. Unfortunately, subs often believe that they have to submit to their Doms in all respects. However, a good top should be able to see your needs and meet them. If a Dom ignores your needs in general and is only concerned with himself, he is certainly not yet ready to be a top.
• Your top enjoys your pleasure and cares for your well-being. This is often not yet clear to people who are just taking their first steps in BDSM. As a sub, you should always have the feeling that your Dom is delighted with you. He enjoys looking at you and touching you, and especially when he can meet your needs.

Of course, there is no such thing as one ideal Dom-sub relationship. That would be a shame because it would mean losing all the diversity that lies in BDSM relationships. But there are 5 cornerstones of every dom-sub relationship:

• Affection/love
• Attraction
• Respect
• Empathy
• Trust

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Different Types of Doms

Kinky Dom

This type of Doms is considered to be a pseudo top. He doesn’t practice the D/s or TPE (total power exchange). He simply enjoys the emotions he gets during kinky sex. This Dom cannot bring his sub into subspace and isn’t in Domspace himself. In a relationship with a kinky dom it’s often the submissive’s responsibility to choose the scene and come up with other details.

Role-Playing Dom

A harmless and sometimes funny representative of the BDSM community. You will probably meet him online and service him online as well. He won't know too much about the D/s dynamics. 

You don't have to be afraid of this type of Dom. This Dom is simply a bragger. He never comes into contact with BDSM in real life.

Such doms will expect you to kneel in front of your computer with your hands tied behind your back and somehow type out as many details as possible about the things you desire and what you are currently doing, wearing, etc.

Playing Master

A playing Master is an experienced Dom who lives to be served by his sub. Bondage and other hard BDSM practices are usually involved in his scenes. However, he won't understand the limits of his partner. This Dom only knows how to control the sub, but lacks control over the situation. That is why their play scenes often start and end with different intensities. Also, such doms typically are unable to bring their D/s partnerships to the next stage.

Top Master

This type of Dom just pretends to be a Master. He always thinks about the next scene or is busy telling his friends about his experiences. He doesn't invest time and effort into his relationships. He doesn't care about little things either. Collars are just sexy attributes for this type of Dom. A Top Master is knowledgeable, however, he doesn't use this knowledge to make the BDSM dynamic intense. 

Scene Dom

Control is of crucial importance for this type of Dom. He loves control both inside and outside the scene. He tends to only have temporary relationships, however, he needs a sub to control his own life. This Dom is not interested in his sub’s growth and, therefore, won’t push the sub’s limits.

True Dom 

A true Dom wants to dominate and to be served. A sub might take care of this Dom both in erotic and non-erotic ways, and it will still bring him pleasure. Only dominant roles are taken by this Dom. 

The True Dom can have both short or long-term relationships and if he doesn’t enter a full-time relationship, he will probably have a good reason for it.

Such a Dom might give his submissive assignments, however, he typically won’t care if they are completed or not. 

Part-Time Master 

This type of Dom perceives the submissive partner as his own property.  He will tell his partner what to do, how to behave, and which clothes to wear. 

A part-time Master usually has an ongoing Master/slave relationship, however, he will only devote his free time to the slave. 

He will always encourage his sub to grow. A part-time Master knows how to control pain and push the sub’s limits. At the same time, he distinguishes between the slave's wants and needs. 

The TPE or 24/7 Master

This Dom sees a D/s partnership as a marriage. In such relationships, collars have a meaning which is close to that of a wedding ring. This D/s partnership will come with negotiations and contracts. However, these agreements can be terminated. Personal and dynamic growth is very important in such partnerships.

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