There is no magic pill that will make your sex life awesome, and everyone who says the opposite is probably lying to you. However, combining different techniques and knowing what really turns men on can greatly spice up your sex, bringing both you and your partner an unforgettable experience.
So, what do men want in bed?
Don’t Forget to Tell Him He is Sexy
Sex can feel pretty amazing when you know your partner considers you to be the sexiest person in the world! Many women find that the best way to fight insecurities is to have a man show you his desire and the same works the other way around! He also needs to know you consider him sexy!
According to one study, insecurities about athleticism, body fat, height, and genitals as well as general self-consciousness about one’s body during sex lead to lower satisfaction in guys. This means that just like women, men are often insecure about their bodies and genitals.
One way to help your man feel more confident is to show your desire with a sexy glance, kiss, or a butt grab. This might initiate sex, and that’s even better, as many men fantasize about women initiating sex.
However, even if your actions won’t result in sex, your partner will still feel your affection, which might make him more satisfied during sex. Feeling attractive is a very important factor that influences your sex life.
Try New Things
Every person is different and, thus, has their own preferences. Some love anal sex and would rate it higher than regular vaginal, others prefer a blowjob over any other activity. There are also guys that just need long cuddles with their girlfriend after sex. Every man probably wants his woman to do something different.
The best strategy here is to try many sex techniques to determine which of them your man likes the most and which you can skip. Once his favorite technique becomes a routine again you can try something new. Exploring new things in sex is what makes it really fun and prevents it from becoming boring.
Take Away the Pressure
There is a common belief that men have to do most of the physical labor and stay erect during sex. Because of these expectations both you and your partner might suffer in bed. Here are a few effective methods to help him feel less pressure:
- Initiate sex. If your partner typically initiates sex, he will love it if you take the lead sometimes, as it will make him feel more comfortable. Also, he won't be afraid to get a “No” from you in the future.
- Be on top. The person on top typically does most of the work during sex. Thus, you can give your man an opportunity just to lie back and enjoy sex and the show!
- Control the situation. You taking control in bed will take almost all the pressure off of your partner. Being dominant means so many things: you can tie him up, blindfold him, or start giving orders - just make sure he enjoys whatever you’re doing.
- Make yourself come. Men feel so much pressure knowing they have to make a woman orgasm during sex. Bringing yourself to an orgasm means satisfying both you and your partner.
- Play with his body. Many men don't really know how many sensitive parts of the body they have apart from the penis. However, his mouth, hands, and any other body parts can bring pleasure not only to you but also to him. Sex toys and accessories can help bring satisfaction to both partners.
- Remember that orgasm is not the only goal. When it comes to sexual satisfaction, orgasm isn’t the only consideration. Don’t think of him coming as of the ultimate goal of sex. Sometimes, he just wants to relax afterward.
Show Him Your Satisfaction
Although some men behave really selfishly in bed, most guys care about their partner's pleasure more than their own. These people tend to say that their partner’s satisfaction significantly influences their own.
Don’t forget about things that might signal to your man that you are having a good time. Moaning or smiling during sex might make him more confident and satisfied. You can also try dirty talk if you want to turn up the intensity during sex. Also, complimenting your partner while in the process of having sex matters a lot. Of course, you don't have to fake it. In fact, pretending you enjoy the things that actually don't make you feel good, will only encourage him to keep doing those things. Show your satisfaction only when you are actually satisfied.
You can also tell him how much you liked something he did after you’re done having sex. For instance, you can send him a text message saying you just can’t stop thinking about your last time in bed or give him a long kiss in the morning to show that you can’t wait to end up in bed with him again.
Remember About Your Partner’s Fantasies
Everyone has dreams and fantasies both in everyday life and in bed. Of course, some of your partner’s fantasies might be just too much for you. However, some of his fantasies may be in line with what you really want to explore too. Bringing his sexual fantasies to life is not only a way to please your man but also a chance for you to explore your own dreams.
According to a 4,000-person survey done by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, the most popular sex-fantasies are multi-partner sex, BDSM practices, polygamy and partner sharing, romance, and sex with a person of the same gender. Maybe both you and your partner have wanted to try one or several of those for a long time but were too afraid to speak up. Knowing that others also have wild sex fantasies makes it easier to open up about your desires.
When asking your man about his fantasies, be gentle and subtle, since he might feel uncomfortable sharing them. The best way to actually get a response from him is to first reveal your own ideas and see how he reacts. Start the conversation with small things such as suggesting trying a new position or roleplay. If he seems excited about it, ask him if there are some things he would like to try. Always remember the importance of communication both in the relationship as a whole and in bed.