What’s so scary about BDSM?

As BDSM is assuredly paving its way in popular culture, more and more people get interested in kinky pleasures. Beginning from leather outfits of pop stars such as Rihanna and Lady Gaga, and ending up with the ever-increasing number of fiction novels that focus on all the aspects of sexual life, BDSM has become a topic of curiosity and discussions. Unfortunately, the information provided in the aforementioned books and movies is usually far from a relevant one. We all remember news reports about couples receiving injuries during sex after being inspired by one of the “50 Shades of Gray” movies. The majority of people obtain knowledge of BDSM culture from similar films and books and do not explore the topic further. Unsurprisingly, this knowledge and facts are mostly based on prejudices and gossips. What is more, some of us are even terrified with the single thought about anything connected to BDSM because it is sinful, wrong, sick, weird, too crazy, too provocative … you can continue this list. 

So, what’s so scary about BDSM and how to overcome your fears? How to deal with all the insecurities and potential problems?

Acceptance

First off, do not be ashamed or disgusted by yourself for wanting to try and experience something kinky. Do not hate yourself for being a freak and enjoying dirty and rough sex. In all honesty, most people have these kinky fantasies but, unfortunately, do not dare to make their dreams come true. Even seemingly innocent spanking is already a sign that a person might want more. However, it is crucial to remember that sex relationships are closely dependent on relationships between the partners. We tell more about this connection in our blog Sexuality in Relationships.

So, the first advice is to take it easy. Listen to yourself, be honest, and admit that there is nothing wrong with giving a chance to some new sexual practices in your life. Novelty and experiments are the key elements of a  finhealthy and happy life in all its spheres. Thus, being honest with both yourself and your partner is the best thing that you can do in this situation.

 

Trust and conversations

These two things are the foundations of successful, pleasurable, and enjoyable BDSM practices. Not your body, specific sex toys, or inspirational videos that you might want to repeat with your partner. In fact, a detailed discussion of what you want to do, and how you want to do it, is a must. During this conversation, you set all the limits and boundaries, make sure that your partner is comfortable with all your fantasies, and finally, talk about your roles. In such a way, two or more people can see that they are ready and opened to such new practices and will do everything possible to limit and prevent any possible risks or damage.

Safety

Being safe and sound is not only about exercises and going to the gym. As it was already mentioned before, you have to make sure that your partner will not use you or will not do anything prohibited during a session. A difference between BDSM and abuse is as tremendous, as a difference between being spontaneous in daily life and BDSM. Detailed discussions both before and after the BDSM session will help to find out more about your partner, as well as get to know his or her preferences, likes, dislikes, and even the most secret wishes. At the same time, safe sessions will help you to please each other and make the experience enjoyable for both of you.  

 Self-education

Last but not least, when considering trying BDSM, self-education is another requirement. Even simple play with ropes may be dangerous for your partner if you tie the ropes in a wrong way. Therefore, you should treat each other with care and prepare yourself for new experiences. It is never too late to try BDSM, but it may be too late if you do not prepare beforehand. Fortunately, nowadays, there is a lot of information available that will help you to improve your knowledge and skills to experiments. For instance, you can find more useful information in one of our blogs 7 Books about Sexuality and Sex or What Is the Mysterious BDSM World?

 

Even though it may seem that BDSM is not for everyone, almost every person would be more than willing to try something new, enticing, and exciting. Subsequently, with proper preparation, you are all ready to explore the thrilling, unknown, and mysterious world of BDSM.

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