The pragmatic side of the BDSM culture surprises those who aren't familiar with it closely and inspires those who believe in the essentiality of consent.
A significant part of BDSM is power exchange. The basic definition is when somebody (submissive) gives up control and gives it to a partner (dominant). There're two kinds of transfer of authority and control: total power exchange (TPE) and partial power exchange (PPE).
24/7 TPE relationship is perceived as the extreme form of power exchange. In them, the dominant is in complete control over his / her partner's life and well-being. For submissive, it means the lack of autonomy, and it could be challenging to accept. Partial power exchange is more common and can spread only on sexperiments, for example.
In both cases, contacts and negotiation should appear on the horizon. As we told before, consent in BDSM culture is taken very seriously. This attitude inspires because romantic and sexual relationships strive for an agreement of two and more parties. So in a BDSM contract, you can write expectations, limits, and rules to regulate the power exchange dynamic.
What contract includes?
The way how the contract will look depends on a person. Is it long or short, printed or in PDF? The only thing - the document should be clear for partners. Also, it can be flexible. If you are new to BDSM, you will experiment, and your opinions can alter. They can be displayed on paper.
The most ideal variant is when dominant and submissive co-write together.
What is negotiation?
Basically, it's the process when you discuss your preferences and definitely-no-things with your partner / partners. We recommend you the method — only YES means YES. Silence doesn't equal consent, and nothing can happen without a clear and spoken out loud yes.
While negotiating, remember:
- to be empathic
- to verbalize your fantasies and desires. It doesn't mean that you must put on the table EVERYTHING about yourself.
But honesty and mutual trust are beautiful and can make your sex life adventurous the way you want it to be.