Why Dominants Need Aftercare

Even though the importance of aftercare is becoming more and more obvious to people, it still is a very common misconception that only submissive partners need it. But impact play, holding positions, and staying mentally engaged can be exhausting, too, meaning that your Dom(me) might also require some space and support after the scene. Here's a more detailed explanation of why it happens and what to do.

Emotional Drop

Just like a submissive, a dominant can experience a drop in energy, emotions, or adrenaline after an intense scene. 

Checking in and decompressing helps maintain emotional balance.

Mental Processing

Being in control requires focus, responsibility, and sometimes intense decision-making. Aftercare allows a dominant to unwind, reflect, and release any lingering tension. 

Connection

BDSM is built on trust and vulnerability for both partners. Aftercare reinforces emotional security, validates actions, and strengthens the bond between partners.

Physical Recovery

Holding certain positions, using impact tools, or maintaining control can be physically demanding. Relaxing touch, hydration, or rest benefits dominants just as much as submissives.

How to Provide Aftercare for a Dominant

First of all, ask your Dominant partner what their DOs and DONTs. Some might not like to be touched at all, while others wouldn't say no to a hug. We are all different, so remember not to assume unless it is communicated in a clear manner. But for those who might need some ideas or simply wonder what aftercare options for a Dom(me) there are, here's a short list:

• words of affirmation: reassure them that the scene went well;
• physical touch: cuddling, massages, or just being close;
• space to decompress: let them process emotions at their own pace;
• mutual check-ins: ask how they feel and if they need anything.

Become a better submissive with Anoeses Guide
'The 10 rules to becoming a great submissive'.